Your 50s: The New Starting Line

This says cola relieves fatigue: How about slowing down some instead?

So, you're approaching or you are in your 50s. Maybe you work, maybe you don't. Perhaps you have children, maybe you don't. You might still be married or, according to statistics, you may be divorced.

You've gotten a little older, despite the fact the world is still going full-steam ahead. And, you're working as hard, if not harder, as you did 25 years ago.

The fact is, ladies and gentlemen, the game has changed for you after your 40s are in the rearview mirror and, if you don't change some of the things you're doing, the only one who can end up a loser here is you. With little changes, for some, and bigger changes, for others, there is no reason not to have a great lifestyle and wonderful health into your later years.

My parents, Jim and Ruth, they didn't have a very wonderful retirement. Hell, by their own admission, their 50s were a nightmare. But, I can tell you this, despite the fact they were a little older and needed to change their diet a little and add some stress relief in there -- they didn't. Dad found stress relief by being a chain smoker and Mom did it by drinking too much wine or vodka. So, by the time they retired, well in their late 60s, they died of lung cancer and liver cancer, respectively. Not a very good reward for the years they put in this world; not very good at all.

Yet, they wouldn't do a single thing to help their health, or their stress, or their dispositions beyond a certain point. They kept on acting like they were 20 when they were 50, and all it led to was illness, injury and disappointment for them. To keep up with their physical needs they needed to adopt quite a few healthy elements to their life, which they never did.

Obviously, I am glad they had my brother and I. But, having one kid at 38 years old and another at 42 years old was something that really took its toll on them, and only hastened their old age and infirmity. So, they had children very late. OK, that was one bad idea my parents had for themselves.

Here are some other bad ideas my parents had: They bought a house in the suburbs that came with 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a large living and large family room, two full kitchens and a large dining room. And, they bought that house on a piece of property that was almost an acre large. Meanwhile, their commutes (both of them worked in Newark, NJ) was an hour each way. This is what they did until their mid-60s.

It made them angry. It made them short. Mom used to say that her and my father "just lived for other people." Well, I said it then and going to say it now -- they had a hell of a bad plan, alright. Their plan outright sucked.

How about living in a condo, which has a staff to tend the yard area, in a town nearby where they worked? That could have been done. Save a lot of maintenance chores on the house, a lot of costs there, and the enormous upkeep of yard work for a large lawn and backyard. Hell, we had a small forest along the side yard.

The smoking and drinking were obvious red flags. So was the way they approached their lives. They turned their lives into drudgery with a series of bad decisions that didn't have to be made to torture themselves. There is always a smarter answer than the most stressful, longest commute to physical jobs, when they are in their 50s. Come on now! Sounds like they still were putting the expectations of 20-somethings on themselves. Maybe they couldn't real deal with getting older, and I think there might have been some of that in there for both of them. Consequently, they rebelled against the inevitably by putting themselves through the impossible.

Enjoy a few sunsets: their actually awesome

I wish my Dad hadn't smoked himself dead and that Mom didn't drink herself dead. I wish they had gotten regular medical care, paid attention to their doctors, ate reasonably, took vitamins and took their medications on time and faithfully. I wish they exercised or had a "date night" every week and just had a better time. Well, I'm not doing that, folks, and you're a damn fool if that's your plan either.

I want to live as best as I can for as long as I can. I can't eat anything I want, anytime I want to: That is how I became 280 pounds. I was holding pretty steady to a 230-pound, worked out body for many, many years. Well, I got injured, I got depressed, whatever -- I got really fat. It wasn't natural. I was just acting and eating like an idiot.

I have physical problems. A lot of us do. But, somehow and some way, we can navigate those problems without turning into the Goodyear blimp. Oh, I'm not there yet. I lost 25 pounds of that whale meat I put on. And, I'm in the process of getting rid of the rest. I grew up; hopefully I grew up in time to give myself some good years ahead.

Do you know what you're retirement is going to look like? And, I'm not talking about money here. The Susie Ormonds of the world are on another site. I'm the lifestyle guy. You're retirement is going to look exactly like what you plan for, what you execute and what you are determined it will become. You can determine your life is going to suck -- well, by all means proceed. Otherwise, you can turn these years into the most wonderful of your life.

I hope you pick 'the most wonderful of your life.' Meanwhile, my ass is down in Florida first chance I get where my joints and my wallet will feel a whole lot better. As always, thanks for stopping by. I'll be seeing you later, alligators.