Misdirected Help?

We often offer Help To and For people in need, 

but what we should do is to offer help With those in need.

This approach works especially well with addicts and others whose goal is to build self-esteem and self-worth

By David H. Kerr               

Many people and agencies have been providing services to and for addicts, inmates and/or those with mental health issues, and this includes those with all of these issues combined.  In fact, when an issue is found, a label will be pronounced and this is in line with the psychoanalytic approach and a way to secure funding to help “a client.”  In my experience, this is exactly the wrong approach for many, but especially for addicts who must learn to take charge of their life, their families and their recovery.  They need to be encouraged to know their own strengths, even their greatness as well as the contribution that they can and will make not only to themselves but to others, i.e. their family and the community.  You might call this inspirational help and coaching.

In my experience, it is better to learn how to offer help with those in need than to those in need.  It is simple if you can truly care for the person whom we inappropriately call “client[1].”  This doesn’t mean babbling sympathy but some empathy, concern and understanding is critical.  Also, our present approach is often to fire many questions at a person coming for help, so that we can put together an appropriate (fundable) state &/or insurance approved "Initial Assessment," complete with an approved label - i.e. "emotionally disturbed" or "addicted with co-occurring issues," etc., etc.  Also, be very aware of the temptation to prescribe help via drugs.  I recommend working for six months with a person with addiction before offering a prescription even for drugs like suboxone.  In many cases, this dulls the interest by the person with addiction in making any substantive personal change, and with those addicted, a substantial personal change is usually essential.

We shouldn’t be throwing help at a client.  Rather we should be drawing strengths and direction from the person asking for help.  We should be creating an equal or one to one relationship with a person so that information is shared with, not dumped on the person in need of help, guidance and direction.  All of this information must come from the person with addiction.  We help a person by developing a relationship; by demonstrating caring; by coaching and by encouraging and promoting what he/she has that is positive.  Self-esteem and self-worth should be the goal.  The “what can you do and what have you done to help yourself” approach is most effective with addictsand also with the co-occurring recovering people with whom I have worked.  No inflicted labels but rather a caring, guided and sometimes necessarily confrontive[2] approach that puts you in the role of friend and coach rather than counselor.  More importantly, it allows them to better understand the role they must take in their own self-improvement.  Remember that addicts are not helpless or stupid.  In fact national tests show them to have above average intelligence[3].

Work together with the person with addiction showing empathy, not sympathy.  Promote truth in your relationship, and encourage self-learning and self-worth.  Recovery is a long road, and treatment, engagement and coaching will help the person with addiction learn to climb and feel more secure, especially during the first five years of lifestyle change.

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[1] I do not like the names (labels) we call people with addiction.  Use their first names instead.  Talk to the person with addiction as a friend/colleague and reason with him/her in normal conversation.  You’re not there to do for him what he must do for himself.

[2] People with the disease of addiction have often had to learn to “stretch the truth” or to flat out lie to receive your money for their drugs.  Criminal addicts have perfected “the language of the lie,” often to the point of believing their lies as truth.

[3] {http://www.cnsproductions.com/drugeducationblog/dr-darryl-inaba/1198}

INTELLIGENCE AND ITS RELATION TO ADDICTION

Posted on November 28, 2011

“A new longitudinal study into the relationship between measured levels of intelligence, and addiction shows a marked tendency toward more addiction behavior among those with higher IQs -- twice as much for men, and a three times greater likelihood among women. Also a look at new research on brain physiology and its relation to pain.”

Call Us: (800) 888-0617  CNS Productions inc a leader in drug education since 1980.   Paul J. Steinbroner was born March 18, 1949 in Los Angeles. In 1983, he founded CNS Productions, a publishing and distribution company specializing in topics related to addiction, neuropharmacology, and brain chemistry. He is the publisher of Uppers, Downers, All Arounders, a textbook on theneurochemistry and neuropharmacology of psychoactive drugs. Paul Steinbroner has also produced over fifty films and videos on this subject.