Gay Rights and Assembly Politics

So I ran this newspaper for Joe Azzolina Sr., called The Courier, for 11 years (April, 1998-April, 2009). And, it is no secret that Joe involved me in his politics during that period: He was a NJ assemblyman during the time I worked for him. I was a veteran campaigner behind the scenes before I was with Joe and I was a former Army spook so I knew how to shut up (until now, of course. lol). Anyway, Joe and I had ups and downs, for sure -- no two people who work very intensely over a long period of time will not have ups and downs. But, this is not about that. This is about something funny, in my mind, that happened I want to say 2008 or so.

Joe's official offices were in Arin Park, Middletown. This is just down the road from where The Courier was. I went there regularly and it was for some very mundane reason I was there on the day I speak of. Joe was on some Assembly subcommittee I think at the time and considering his stand on gay marriage in New Jersey. Like I said, I was involved in his politics but not his legislative life -- two different things.

Joe was a true 'every man.' He didn't discriminate against anyone. One the of the finest guys I knew like that. Self-made but not a snob. Anyhow, my business with him is done and then he asks me to hang around for a minute. He wanted to get his aide, Barbara Horal. I wait for a couple minutes (I always found myself staring at his Navy photos). Joe gets Barbara and says, "I want to hear about what you two think about gay marriage."

I was and am a dyed-in-the-wool social liberal and Joe knew that. Barbara was a social conservative. He knew that too. Generally speaking, Joe was somewhere between the polarities that Barbara and I represented.

I said words to the effect of 'OK, I'll start off this show. People who are homosexual and lesbian should have the same rights as heterosexuals to marry. Love is not legislated so marriage should not be. These New Jerseyans pay taxes like anyone else so they should have the benefits of marrying like anyone else. Besides, homosexuality is not a disease, a disorder or a choice. It is a God-made orientation someone is born with. You asked for my opinion and there it is.' Well, that kicked things off. lol.

Barbara said words to the effect that there are benefits associated with being married, involving taxes among other things. And if gay and lesbian people were allowed to marry and have equal rights like heterosexual people then they would enjoy those benefits too and it would discourage them from stopping their homosexuality and lesbianism and changing their sexuality back and getting married in a heterosexual context. She said homosexuals would want to be married so they will stop being gay.

Joe sat between us and watched quietly. At the end of Barbara's brief summation I laughed. I thought she was joking -- honestly. But, she sat there straight faced. So I stopped smiling and said words to the effect of 'you don't actually believe that gay people will stop loving who they love or change their natural sexual orientation in order to be in a sham relationship so they can legally be married, do you?'

Barbara responded, "Yes, I do" very matter-of-factly with her chin in the air.

Joe was still silent. I finished with words to the effect of 'so it is fine to deny Americans their rights because you want to reflect your personal biases upon them. Well, I can't argue with that logic.'

Barbara responded words to the effect of 'well then, you agree.' Joe cut in and said he had to go to another meeting but thanked Barbara and I for our views. He didn't comment one way or another to us about the subject matter.

Walking out the building I thought something like 'I guess that is what aides do in Trenton, think up stupid stuff and act like they are horribly bright.' There was no use wasting a moment about it, though. Joe was his own man and liked to hear what people thought all the time. In the end, though, he always made his own calls. That gentleman was a force of nature.

After Joe passed some years back I didn't attend his funeral and sometimes I feel guilty for it. But, because of politics, he surrounded himself with a pack of jackals, vultures and weasels. If I wanted to see that much animal life, I would have went to a zoo and not a funeral. In the meantime, I said earnest prayers for the big guy and went about my way. He would have understood. I was always a wiseass and he would have been the first to say I'd only get in trouble in that environment.