The road to recovery can be a hard one

BY REV JIM PURCELL

I ran across a story one of my former friends penned, and there are striking similarities to my own story and the main character in her story. Though this story was crafted as a work of fiction, I certainly recognize the truth of a time in my life in its paragraphs. And, reading this very good work reminded me of some very hard times, indeed.

Today, I am an alcoholic in recovery. As well as being in recovery I also deal day-to-day with psychiatric illness, which is a struggle (though it is a struggle I beat every time I make good, positive life choices, exercise and diet appropriately). Anyone can become an alcoholic. There are always a thousand 'good reasons' to take a drink. But, there is only one excellent reason for not drinking: Alcohol was not made for all people and some people are alcoholic and others aren't.

This main character "Eric" is a broken man, reduced to living in the streets, a victim of his own demons. The story the author penned is not 100 percent accurate, and the author, I am sure, never intended it to be so or regarded as a work of non-fiction. Nowhere in this work does the author say I was an inspiration to her, but I have a 'psychic twinkle' about this one -- because this is a hard story to make up (and an even harder one to live). This tale does bear a very close resemblance to a reality I lived, while in my addictions and being untreated for PTSD while living in Keansburg.

I was there during Hurricane Sandy and was one of so many who faced the blunt-force trauma of that storm's fury. This is not a sympathetic treatment of the "Eric" character, and that is fine because (if this was based upon me) in those days there wasn't much to inspire very much sympathy about me in others. 

After I lost a child, whatever shred of sanity I had was buried with him in Lincoln, Nebraska in 2012. I became lost; heck, I was lost even before that, I suppose. This story would, if it followed my actual timeline, take place about the same time I actually did move back to Keansburg in the wake of that great loss. 

I have to say, this is wonderfully written by the author. This can be a story to inspire people about what a true 'bottom' might look like in one's life. If for no other reason, this tale can be a cautionary tale for those who are wandering down the path to addiction.

You see, addiction grabbed hold of me and destroyed who I was and mental illness was there at every turn, making the world around me someplace dark and menacing. As you read this story, I want you to keep in mind that there is a lot of truth in these words and those who view it should know that, if anything, the author made this tale more palatable for mainstream audiences and that the actual truth of those times for me, and others like me who I knew, was even darker than in her pages. 

I came back to life through recovery, which is available to all of us. All any of us have to do to recover is be tired of being sick and tired of addiction. Similarly, to those who suffer from mental illness and refuse to take meds, I ask how illegal drugs or alcohol helps to put their life back on track. Fixing substance addiction problems without addressing psychological disorders is as useful as fixing a funnel but leaving a whole in the bottom of the bucket you are trying to fill up.

Recovery works and is available in any one of thousands of meetings that take place all across this great nation and even the world every single day. 

I wish the author all success and praise their work. There is no better story than the one that has the possibility of touching the lives of others. 

Meds, Psychiatric Disorders and PTSD: A Love Story

By REV. JIM PURCELL, MPS

I have PTSD, Depression and am in recovery from alcohol. I know these things have a stigma attached to them. But, nothing is going to get solved by being 'in the closet' about issues like these, not for me or anyone else suffering with such disorders.

Why am I writing this? Because living with psychiatric disorders can be very difficult and secrecy about ongoing issues can be a terrible way to live. But, it is how some people live, and walking around feeling bad and carrying around the 'secret' of one's situation is nonsense; it damages the mind and the spirit.

On job applications from sea to shining sea there are questions about one's psychiatric past. And, most people do not hire people who have these kinds of problems, let's face it. Still, these are disorders -- like a broken knee or bad back,

There are all kinds of Right Wing politicians who say people on Public Support and Social Security should 'get a job.' I agree, but just where are people with these issues going to work? If society wants these people to work then there is going to need to be a change of the tide, so to speak, and psychiatric disorders and diseases are going to have to be de-stigmatized. There is really no way around it. Either people with psychiatric disorders (and there is no short supply of such people) are going to have to be given incentives to work or on Public Support and Social Security these people will stay.

You know, Republicans are swell for pointing out problems but fixing them is usually not something that gets attention at all times. In the first place, debacles like the North American Free Trade Agreement sent jobs away from the country by the millions. I am ashamed to say it was a Democrat, President Bill Clinton who presided over the last act of that legislation. I suppose that makes him the one who gave the eulogy to the American worker. Nevertheless, NAFTA was legislation that was crafted throughout the Reagan and Bush 1 administrations.

It's not politics that need to change where it involves re-employment and acceptance of people with psychiatric disorders -- it is people that need to change. It is attitudes that have to change.

Psychiatric medications and treatment are in an era wherein an amazing amount of good is being done for people, making them able to function and thrive in ways that were impossible just 20 years ago. But, what is the practicality of treatment and stabilization of those living with disorders if opportunity is blocked to them in the workplace? Where is society getting a pay-off, so to speak, if old standards and old notions bar recovering people from having a career?

For there to be full employment for people with psychiatric disorders there has to be a way for them to re-enter the job market with an expectation of success. Without this, Public Support and Social Security will remain the primary way these people live: no one wants this, including those people being treated for psychiatric disorders.

It is hard, on a personal level, going through one's life with challenges brought upon one by psychiatric disorders. Yet, hope is found on many fronts medically, therapeutically. Still, society has closed so many doors to people recovering from their issues that the metaphorical locked door to employment these people encounter can seem to be 50-feet high and 25-feet wide.

To grow as a culture, to grow economically, society has to create an avenue for recovering people to re-enter the work-a-day world. What does that look? I have no idea, to be honest. But, knowing there is a problem and trying to do something about it is the beginning of solving it.

I can say that trying to be supportive of someone with a psychiatric condition can be hard, and this can be attested to, no doubt, by my beautiful daughter, Amanda, whom I owe so very much to for her loving kindness. I can say that she was my rock through some terrible storms. This is not to say things are always smooth sailing in her being able to understand me and those things I am facing. But, she has taken that journey with me and put up with a great deal. I work and live with the idea that there is someone in my corner in what can be a very cold world.

I am grateful to my boss, who took a chance on someone like me, and to my friends for supporting not only my recovery from alcohol but also my recovery from mental disorders. Without these, I too would be another discarded member of society, cut adrift because of what was called "madness" not all that long ago.

Today, I fight not only for myself, but to honor those who have invested so much into me, including the host of wonderful doctors, psychologists and health care professionals who have worked so diligently with me.

Changing a human heart is perhaps the most improbable act of all, yet the journey of a million miles begins with but a simple step.