Retirement: A time to live life to its fullest

By JIM PURCELL

Life is about transitions: transitions from childhood to adulthood, from student to job-holder, from girlfriend or boyfriend to spouses, or perhaps from being a couple to being parents or from worker to supervisor. The point is that one of the main things that stay the same in our lives is change: people moving from one perspective to another.

Well, growing older is a transition and, in my opinion, it is the biggest, most important change of all. I worked for many years as a journalist in the news profession. It was my job to construct, write and frequently edit news stories and I started looking at life like a story: there is a beginning, middle and end. Over the years doing that job, it occurred to me that the beginning and middle of a story is not as dynamic, not as defining as the end of a story. A man or woman can be a good person all their lives, have a great career, a wonderful house and be a pillar of the community. But, one day, he or she falls onto hard times and then turns to drinking; maybe they even receive a DWI. So, they die. How are they remembered? Sadly, unkind people will remember them simply as ‘that drunk who was arrested for a DWI.’ Then again, a homeless person, maybe a veteran, who lived in a gutter, saves someone from a mugging. What is he or she remembered for? Frankly, a certain number of people will remember the ‘Hero Homeless Vet’ who helped someone in need. In either case, it was the end of the story that defined the story; not the beginning or the middle.

Those who are becoming senior citizens need to know that, more than any time in their lives, they are entering a part of life that will define them. How do they wish to live it; how do they wish to be remembered by their friends, family and – to some extent – the world? How does the individual want to live the last – and best chapters of their own story?

My father, the late Jim Sr., served as an inspiration to me: not about those things to do in retirement but about those things not to do. Jim Sr. worked all his life as a fuel truck driver in North Jersey. He woke up at 4 a.m. in the morning. He re-heated coffee from the night before and then he drove my mother to work at 4:30 a.m. He left work at 5 p.m., picked my mother up from her job, and then made the trek back to suburban Central Jersey. He did this year after year for almost 40 years. He deserved a good retirement with my mother. He didn’t get it. He got in his own way.

I had long since left my old bedroom, after I joined the Army at 17 years old some 12 years before his retirement. So, he converted my old bedroom into a sort of television room for himself. He put an old black-and-white television in it along with a comfortable chair. And, for the next 18 years, he watched television, yelled to my mother when he wanted something to eat or drink and then died of a long-term illness one day. The highlight of his retirement was receiving a gold watch from his company, Liberty Fuel Oil, a night before he finished his last day of work.

Dad’s retirement amounted to a nice night of celebration and was punctuated by almost two decades of television watching. So that was it – the big reward.

I cannot speak for anyone else, just for me. In the words of Dylan Thomas, “I will not go quietly into that good night.” I will live life with vigor, more commitment than I ever have. I will go down the roads that were not practical in my earning years now, now that I can afford to do it. In my case, I will be an artist for those last chapters of the story. Maybe I will never sell a work – and if I do not then you will not see me shed a tear. I will apply the last and best efforts I have to the dream I left behind when I was a boy…to be a working artist. Practicality demanded that, in my case, painting oil works was not the best use of my efforts when I was younger. Now, I can afford to live a dream I set down before, and I can do it with all the effort I have.

I am joining not one but two arts guilds, am planning how to market my works, have started sketching works I am interested in and am once again studying great artists for inspiration. And, I find that my enthusiasm is as intoxicating as when I was a child, when I dreamed of being alone with a blank canvas – eager to make new worlds.

No one knows how long they have in this life. There is only one God, and I am not Him. I cannot control the length of my life. I can control the quality of my life, though. Meanwhile, I have put together in my experience so far that if someone is doing something they love, they are far more likely to stay healthy and vital so they can keep on doing it.

I will not surrender to old age. I will not sit in front of a television and make it my whole field of vision. I will continue to live in the world, contribute to the lives around me and find joy in God’s creation.

I think it is a better plan than the alternative. I know men and women who spend their remaining lives, disappeared into the lives of their children – quietly working as care providers for their adult children and minor grandchildren. They contribute financially to their children’s households, and become adjunct members of those households. Well, that is one way to do it. It is not wrong to love one’s children and to serve their family. It just isn’t my personal way.

I want the last drop of life and joy from my days. I don't want to live my life to be part of the scenery of someone else’s.

My personal hero in retirement was this wonderful woman I met while attending Georgian Court College, during my bachelor’s studies. She was this lovely French woman who had immigrated to the United States many years before, married a man, raised a family and had a career. But, along the way, she never had the time or opportunity to obtain her bachelor’s degree. She and I spoke about this and I remember she told me that her life goal was to obtain her bachelor’s degree – to not attend someone else’s commencement, but to be a participant in her own. Her age did not define her. Her circumstance did not define her. Her marriage did not define her. Instead, her spirit defined her – her will to achieve the goal closest to her own heart – not someone else’s. To me, while this lovely lady was living her own dream, she was inspiring me to live my own.