Zen and the Art of Getting Older

By JIM PURCELL

Living is a test for everyone who has done or ever did it. Getting older is the consequence of survival. But, is survival enough for someone to get some real peace in their lives?

No.

Survival is only enough to survive.

Anyone who lives long enough is going to know triumph, tragedy, heartbreak, love, loss -- the whole range of experiences. Make no mistake about it -- anyone who has known nothing but success and triumph. love without loss, and has never failed is someone who missed out on some important stuff. I don't know how people grow without falling down, losing something, ever being heartbroken.

Yet, the bad things we live through can bite us on the butt spiritually, as well as financially and personally, of course. But, as we age, we are given the gift of more time. If we are truly lucky, we get a chance to retire and work on ourselves. This is for the best, because after a long life of getting bumped around and surviving the metaphoric shark tank, we need time to heal -- and the will to do it.

In this life, we can lose who we really are: the mortgage has to get paid, the kids are having a rough time, the job is demanding, the relationship with your partner has demands, there isn't enough money to make ends meet, maybe there is enough money but it takes everything you have to stay on top of your game...there are all kinds of things that will divert your attention from becoming a better you.

You know, that term 'a better you,' just sounds like something from a 1980s women's magazine. No disrespect to those, they gave and continue to give great insight to millions. But, the phrases that came from that sometimes sound fake.

Here is another way to put it: Don't you want to get closer to the person that you imagine yourself to be at your best? Forget about what other people think. All of us have an idea of who the best version of ourselves might be. I certainly do.

I'm not in the vicinity of there with that version either.

I am coming back to retirement here: A time when the wolf is not at the door. A time when I have a chance to breathe, when I can wake up in the morning and not have to throw coffee down my throat to get ready to go into the office and deal with a lot of people's problems. It is a time when the rules for what happens everyday are the ones I make.

So, what rules should I make?

Well, I suppose the rules should depend upon what I want to achieve with my day; my personal goals. Am I encouraging you to begin to meditate, maybe try therapy to work out long-term problems, or take up some hobby that invokes harmony? No, I think people have been told what to do enough by the time they are a certain age. I don't think any of those things are a bad idea, though.

I do say that peace in someone's life will never, ever happen accidentally. If any of us are going to have real peace then we have to each do what is right for ourselves to get it. Many of us -- and I am raising my hand on this one as well -- have bottled up a lot of negativity over the course of a half-century, or more. I think all of us choose whether or not we are going to let that hang around or we are going to give it back to the universe for disposal. As for me, I make regular trips to the galactic dump, where I throw my trash on the pile and leave.

I was in a very dog-eat-dog game for many years -- the newspaper business. That industry was not for the feint of heart. Either you killed the bear every day or the bear killed you and you limped back home to lick your wounds until it all started again the next day. There were personal losses and issues along the way, like every life. I choose not to continue to be a victim to the ghosts of the past, however, no matter how much I want to fall into that sometimes.

Living in the past has never achieved anything for anyone, and never will. The only thing that gets left behind by the past are memories, experiences, whatever we choose to take from it. Being human, and not perfect, most of us carry around some baggage from the past. But, like a traveler at an airport, at some point we have to check the bag or it will get in our way every time we try to do anything.

I say find the way you can do that, which is right for you and might not be for anyone else: But, do the work. Life without baggage can lead to an increased amount of smiling, sleeping better, making friends, enjoying your own company and even enjoying that beautiful sunny day a little more.

Find your own road to peace, and don't sit around thinking it will fall into your lap is all I am saying. Thanks for stopping by.