Parents Role in the Prevention or Spread of Opioid Abuse

Does our 2017 culture at home and work “acknowledge the realities and priority of parenthood?”  

By  David H. Kerr  

Founder, Integrity House             

  

Here are two problems today:

1)   Not enough parent to child time

2)   Negative role modeling by some parents even including parents who abuse of addictive substances

According to the New York Times editorial board, 1-16-17:

“Opioid overdoses have claimed more than 300,000 lives in the last 15 years, including some 33,000 in 2015 alone. But those numbers do not tell the full horror of this epidemic, which has devastated the lives of countless children whose parents have succumbed to addiction to prescription painkillers and other opiates. In one terrible case last month, a Pennsylvania couple died of apparent overdoses, and their baby perished from starvation a few days later.”

Parents should understand that when they have children, their actions as adults are heard and mimicked by those children, far more than their words.  Parenting by one’s own positive attitude and behavior often serves as the best predictor for children to grow up in a like manner – not what you say but what you do.  This article goes on to say that “the number of foster care children jumped 8% nationally between fiscal years 2012 and 2015. Experts say that opiate abuse accounts for a lot of that increase."[1]  {See complete article below.}  David Leonhardt, Op-Ed Columnist for the New York Times makes a key point about a balance between the workplace culture and parenting:  “I should make clear that I find The New York Times to have an excellent workplace culture.  Yet even here, there’s clearly a large demand for a new approach to designing career paths that acknowledge the realities of parenthood.”

Does our 2017 culture at home and work “acknowledge the realities and priority of parenthood?”  Linda and I live in a beautiful suburban community, not far from Newark where I worked for 47 years.  We’ve seen a change in values in suburban communities since March, 1970 when we moved into town.  Then, Moms’ stayed home with the children and Dads’ went to work.  Moms were always with the kids and they learned about their child’s needs and sensitivities, usually offering clear guidelines and rules for them.  Parents often exchanged experiences, good and bad, while watching kids play in a soccer game.  We worked together with other young folks in town to create a fun social group called “Friendship.”  There was a real sense of community in the 1970’s and parenting was a full time job for Moms and a number one priority for both parents. 

Now it’s 2017, and no surprise, things are different.  Now it’s likely that both parents leave home in the morning for work, not returning until 6pmor well-after.  The daytime surrogate parent is often a paid “baby-sitter.”  The high cost of taxes may be one reason for both parents working and when they return at night to their children, they are happy and caring but exhausted!  Then there are often activities at night that parents are part of and the children are sometimes again left with a babysitter.  Are our children getting the kind of strong foundational love, caring and discipline coming from their loving and caring birth parents?  Do we as parents understand the responsibility we have in our own lives, our actions and attitudes and feelings that are absorbed by our children when we least expect it? Here are three suggestions of mine:  1) Make an effort to eat together as a family, 2) Spend some time every night with your spouse and children – leave for your meetings after this, 3) Encourage listening.  These three suggested points, if practiced regularly may help to build a responsible and caring family.  There is no guarantee of course, but why not try it for a while and keep a record what happens?

Good parenting can be a trying experience at times but for the most part it can be fun and rewarding.  Bottom line, it’s an awesome responsibility.  Parents who use and abuse legal and illegal substances day in and day out are gambling with their children’s future.  If you are one of these parents, you might want to contact the Division of Mental Health and Addiction Services for help:

http://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/dmhas/home/

1-800-382-6717. Or you can mail to the following address:
Mailing Address:
DMHAS
Capital Place One
P.O. Box 700
Trenton, NJ 08625

Or send me an email at

 dkerr.recoveryadvisorygroup@gmail.com

Finally to restate, make a priority of what you do since your children will be far more likely to learn from that as opposed to what you say.