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Monday, March 3, 2014

What it takes to turn around a long term addict

By David H. Kerr, February 10, 2014
“That anger at what he said, maybe because it was starting to look true, that’s what kept me going.”
 The following interview with a long term clean and sober employed recovering person, has been taken from my soon to be published book called “The Voices of Integrity.”

 Dave K.: What are your thoughts about the long, tough treatment program you went through?  Did that somehow put a scar on you?

Ernie M.: “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. That’s what Nietzsche said. 

Dave K.: Well, the reason I asked is that you’ve been through a tough Therapeutic Community program. You admit that you felt humiliated at times and that you were confronted about your lies and deception. Did that leave a scar or how did that affect you as you look back?

Ernie M.: Nah, it didn’t.  This is how I see it:  What’s more humiliating than being locked up, being a drug addict, having guards tell you when to sh—t, when to shower, when you can go here, when you can go there.  You’re locked up like an animal in a cage and then working for 30 cents a day.  That prison experience is the most humiliating thing.  But you know it’s good to put pressure on people to confront the reality and to help them develop some calluses on the belly because basically drug addicts need to develop some moral fiber and some inner strength, not to buckle over and weep and run away from their problems. I think that is the idea of the long term Therapeutic Community: “You are here to change, and you’re not gonna let anything run you out the door.”

“Anger at what was said and those who confronted me kept me going. I’m not going to let anyone drive me out of this place.” You have to make a decision, you know what I mean, and I was determined to stay. There were a few times I thought of splitting though. I remember one time saying:’ this is bullshit, but I knew if I split, I’m gonna pick up another escape charge and I’m back to prison again. And then it’s like, when you’re doing time and you’re young, in the beginning, it’s no problem. You think you’re tough you know, and you just step it off. But then all of a sudden, you do your nineteenth birthday in jail and your twentieth birthday in prison. Now you’re twenty-two, and you start saying, “I gotta do something.” I remember a parole officer at one time telling me when he met me at the county jail. He said, “You’re the f—ing type of guy that’s gonna do life on the installment plan. And I would say, “F—you, you know what I mean.” I was like I’m not doing life on the installment plan. That anger at what he said, maybe because it was starting to look true, that’s what kept me going.

The person above has been drug free for decades. I’m calling him Ernie.  He has made a new life for himself, attaining top grades in undergraduate and graduate school, earning a Masters Degree and working his way up the ladder in a large corporation to an executive position and a role model to hundreds.  He is now married with a family, a church, and a new positive lifestyle. 
Here’s the question you might ask: What does it take to turn around a long term addict?
  
1.    A mentor, someone who has suffered and overcome the disease of addiction;
2.    An attitude of openness and humility and a strong spiritual commitment;
3.    A commitment to face the disease every day, with resolve, and gratitude, one day at a time;
4.    A resolve to act to replace the hole that results from removing the addiction and accompanying lifestyle, with a new positive drug free lifestyle.  One with new friends, new places, and new values based on remaining clean and sober.  One that shows gratitude, determination, concern for others and a core of spirituality. 

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