By David Kerr
Working with addicts, first as a State Parole Officer in 1965 and then at Integrity house, a residential therapeutic community treatment program I started in 1968, I have learned that addicts need help immediately. Whether an addict is ready for help or not, the help should be there. I’ve never known and addict to be helped while on a waiting list though. But what about the question of motivation? Doesn’t the addict need to be ready to quit? The answer is NO and this is backed by research.
The National Institute on Drug Addiction (NIDA) have cited “13 Principles of ‘most effective treatment” and #11 is that the addict needing help does not have to want it![1] Wanting treatment helps but in many cases, I have found that it often doesn’t make much of a difference.
While an addict doesn’t have to want the help he/she must accept and commit to the help and sometimes that commitment has to come from a judge or a Drug Court or law enforcement or from an unrelenting spouse or parents…etc. The addict is not likely to choose help over heroin, any more than a child knows to choose love over that expensive toy. Why would an addict want help compared to the “high” from heroin? There are some though who do make the commitment to sobriety on their own or through AA or NA. These are not the hardcore lifestyle addicts whom I have learned to challenge and to respect.
The truth is that we can't expect that addicts with the lifelong relapse prone disease of addiction, will suddenly turn things around even if treatment is more readily available. However it is a good start and waiting lists are inexcusable especially since many on these waiting lists end up in jail at twice the cost to taxpayers, or they remain addicted "in the streets" posing a threat to communities, or they die of an OD.
We have to ask ourselves; what if this addict was my child or my sister or my father or husband or wife? What if an addict in your family finally came to us for help and we had to say “get on the back of the line.” Is this the way our health system should work? “We know how to help you unless you have the disease of addiction. For that, you go on a waiting list!” But even after the waiting list, what happens then?
Here is what I understand:
You can’t fix the problem of addiction by going to a nice warm climate, spending two to four weeks with others in a spa-like atmosphere, then graduating when your money runs out two to four weeks later. Those who have tried to find help for their addiction and accompanying lifestyle spanning decades, will return to their old habits in a matter of weeks if not days after this type of quick fix approach. The addiction is ever present and these alleged cures are likely to fail in not all but in most cases.
Well then what to do?
Look at yourself in the mirror and ask these questions:
· Do I like who I am?
· Do I see who I want to be?
· Do I want to change who I am?
· How much am I ready to give up in order to make this major
The National Institute on Drug Addiction (NIDA) have cited “13 Principles of ‘most effective treatment” and #11 is that the addict needing help does not have to want it![1] Wanting treatment helps but in many cases, I have found that it often doesn’t make much of a difference.
While an addict doesn’t have to want the help he/she must accept and commit to the help and sometimes that commitment has to come from a judge or a Drug Court or law enforcement or from an unrelenting spouse or parents…etc. The addict is not likely to choose help over heroin, any more than a child knows to choose love over that expensive toy. Why would an addict want help compared to the “high” from heroin? There are some though who do make the commitment to sobriety on their own or through AA or NA. These are not the hardcore lifestyle addicts whom I have learned to challenge and to respect.
The truth is that we can't expect that addicts with the lifelong relapse prone disease of addiction, will suddenly turn things around even if treatment is more readily available. However it is a good start and waiting lists are inexcusable especially since many on these waiting lists end up in jail at twice the cost to taxpayers, or they remain addicted "in the streets" posing a threat to communities, or they die of an OD.
We have to ask ourselves; what if this addict was my child or my sister or my father or husband or wife? What if an addict in your family finally came to us for help and we had to say “get on the back of the line.” Is this the way our health system should work? “We know how to help you unless you have the disease of addiction. For that, you go on a waiting list!” But even after the waiting list, what happens then?
Here is what I understand:
You can’t fix the problem of addiction by going to a nice warm climate, spending two to four weeks with others in a spa-like atmosphere, then graduating when your money runs out two to four weeks later. Those who have tried to find help for their addiction and accompanying lifestyle spanning decades, will return to their old habits in a matter of weeks if not days after this type of quick fix approach. The addiction is ever present and these alleged cures are likely to fail in not all but in most cases.
Well then what to do?
Look at yourself in the mirror and ask these questions:
· Do I like who I am?
· Do I see who I want to be?
· Do I want to change who I am?
· How much am I ready to give up in order to make this major
commitment to change not only my habits but my lifestyle.
· But when I give it up, stop doing drugs, alcohol or overeating,
· But when I give it up, stop doing drugs, alcohol or overeating,
what will I put in its place?
If you haven’t given this much thought, this is a sure sign of quick relapse. For example here are some alternatives that people over decades have used to replace the substance: new friends, new places to go or stay, improved time spent on relationships, new activities such as yoga, meditation, religion or spirituality, exercise, music, art, school, a new hobby; you get the idea.
Are you willing to dedicate as much time to your new healthy lifestyle as you spent with your substance use and abuse?
Is your being or psyche grounded by your new “giving behavior” vs your old “taking behavior?”
Are you working on your relationship skills so that you learn how to make and maintain friends who are real people rather than objects to be used or manipulated on your path leading to drugs or other self-interests?
Are you learning to ask yourself, “what value am I to myself, my family and to others,” rather than “what can I get or take from this person?”
When your mind takes on this framework of positive daily commitment, you are thinking right! This is a most important first step and moving from selfish to selfless behavior will actually bring the right perspective to your addiction and associated negative friends and lifestyle.
Remember that you are the one to find, and walk the narrow path of recovery, but when you do, you will overcome lifelong challenges and see that the rewards are major. Delaying that quick and short lasting gratification while learning the new long-term pace of life clean and sober, will bring unanticipated strong satisfaction and friendships.
Try this new delayed gratification formula as a new way of living but practice it every day for at least a year. See if things don’t change for the better and stay that way!
Don’t wait for a counselor to fix you, or a treatment bed to open. Instead lean on an experienced recovery mentor and support group. With addiction, you are your own counselor and as such, it’s time for you to get busy and begin to make the right choices while over time, growing into your new way of life, clean and sober. This lifestyle formula may carry you through the waiting list period until a residential treatment bed is available. Also, it is your best assurance for a strong healthy life after treatment.
If you haven’t given this much thought, this is a sure sign of quick relapse. For example here are some alternatives that people over decades have used to replace the substance: new friends, new places to go or stay, improved time spent on relationships, new activities such as yoga, meditation, religion or spirituality, exercise, music, art, school, a new hobby; you get the idea.
Are you willing to dedicate as much time to your new healthy lifestyle as you spent with your substance use and abuse?
Is your being or psyche grounded by your new “giving behavior” vs your old “taking behavior?”
Are you working on your relationship skills so that you learn how to make and maintain friends who are real people rather than objects to be used or manipulated on your path leading to drugs or other self-interests?
Are you learning to ask yourself, “what value am I to myself, my family and to others,” rather than “what can I get or take from this person?”
When your mind takes on this framework of positive daily commitment, you are thinking right! This is a most important first step and moving from selfish to selfless behavior will actually bring the right perspective to your addiction and associated negative friends and lifestyle.
Remember that you are the one to find, and walk the narrow path of recovery, but when you do, you will overcome lifelong challenges and see that the rewards are major. Delaying that quick and short lasting gratification while learning the new long-term pace of life clean and sober, will bring unanticipated strong satisfaction and friendships.
Try this new delayed gratification formula as a new way of living but practice it every day for at least a year. See if things don’t change for the better and stay that way!
Don’t wait for a counselor to fix you, or a treatment bed to open. Instead lean on an experienced recovery mentor and support group. With addiction, you are your own counselor and as such, it’s time for you to get busy and begin to make the right choices while over time, growing into your new way of life, clean and sober. This lifestyle formula may carry you through the waiting list period until a residential treatment bed is available. Also, it is your best assurance for a strong healthy life after treatment.
[1] #11: Treatment does not need to be voluntary to be effective. Sanctions or enticements from family, employment settings, and/or the criminal justice system can significantly increase treatment entry, retention rates, and the ultimate success of drug treatment interventions. http://www.drugabuse.gov/
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